Buddy

With much publicity of my three dogs, Harvey, Chivas and Bruce, I believe we had unrightfully neglected this other dog who had been with us the longest. He came to our lives even before I even realized that I had so much affinity for dogs. He came to us when the family could only tolerate one simple pet. He was our beloved pet who was provided shelter, food and enough affection. Of all the dogs that we have right now who shared enough publicity, received extra attention and care, there's this one dog who remained silent and loyal to the very end. And it pains me to think we've let him down. Buddy, our 12-13 year old german shepherd - mongrel mix, died this morning.

It has been a week since he became lethargic. He wouldn't eat. No strength and affection would come from him. He'd always be at the corner where there was no light, watching and coping. He would vomit a couple of times a day and we knew something was terribly wrong. It was also this week that we found out that the dogs'  veterinarian Dr. Pedrito Peralta died of a heart attack two weeks ago. We thus experienced a shortage of good veterinarians. There was nothing we could do at that moment but provide him extra care, pray for him and somehow give him liquefied food. For the past couple of days before his death, he would always go to this one dark spot near the garden to rest. Sometimes with lack of energy, his breathing would be labored and a couple of times we mistook him for being dead. Every day, we would transfer him to a more secured spot, but every single time, probably with the remaining energy that he had, he would always go to that one spot near the garden even if it was raining. I knew from Marley and Me that dogs with this weird behavior are resigned to the fact that they are ready to leave this world. And we, his masters, undeserving humans, didn't do anything much about it.

We've let him down to the point that we made him suffer those last days. Even though we gave him extra attention, extra comfort and security it seems a pitiful effort for us to cover our guilt for the thousand times we have neglected him. We thought he was our wonder dog that he could withstand even the slightest pain. Buddy had always been quiet and resilient, but we forgot that he also needs comfort and peace.

He was the favorite of my parents, probably because seniors think alike. My father would always favor him against the pedigrees. Our helpers adore him. He has been with us for almost 14 years, that's unbeatable by far.  He is an excellent guard dog. He is patient and very loyal. There were times though that I had fights and quarrels with him. I wanted him out of the house for a couple of times because of how he bullied Bruce when our bullmastiff was still a small puppy. The fights and isolation would continue, and how much I pained him with words and gestures. He had suffered retaliation from the three dogs and for the last couple of years. He suffered a lot. On his last remaining days, I realized my wrongs and had my moment to cradle and say sorry to him.

I'm just so sorry again and again for not being able to rescue him from sickness. We have scheduled him for treatment on the day that he died and clearly it was too late. We didn't even give him the decency to skip the pain and suffering and just let him sleep. He deserved too much wonderful things that we simply have gotten frozen. We didn't act fast and we didn't act smartly. Early this morning we found him in the garden, with eyes opened and the last traces of dried liquid in his mouth.  We didn't even know the exact time he passed away, probably when all of us were sleeping. And just like that, it was never his method to grab attention and give us troubles.

I'm sorry, Buddy for the wrongdoings I've done. I apologize for not making you feel any better soon and I am sorry for all our shortcomings. You've been a good dog, loyal and patient. You've taught us to be better. Without you, we wouldn't have had the courage to take care of the three other dogs. You nursed us with the transition and we thank you. It's a sad day for all of us.

After saying my personal prayers, I thought of my dream to put up an advocacy group to shelter and redeploy stray animals. I don't know how I'll do it, but it's a profound dream. If I were to have one now put up now, I'll know what to call it. Buddy. Buddy Foundation in honor of a wonderful dog.

Thank you, Buddy. Rest In Peace, we love you.

I don't even have a decent photo of Buddy. If there's such  a  dog who'd shy away from the cameras, it's him. He's loyal, patient and strong. Clearly he was misunderstood most of the times, but he was part of our family. He has seen it all.  We will surely miss him.