It's been ages and it's starting to be shameful. Work and the lack of everything else are always against me. Then again I'm not making any excuses.
So many things happened in the past couple of months. Most are good, ironically. Bruce fought his nasty battle with mange and he won. He nourished a new human partnership with Jake as his caretaker and walker. And he turned 1, with grace and charm. It's as if nothing could go wrong. Absolutely nothing.
And now Bruce is fighting his biggest battle yet. And I chose to fight it with him and give everything I got. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. We'll see, but it kills me each and every minute and each and every thought that creeps through. Whenever I think about it, it feels like dying over and over again. It wouldn't have been in vain if this internal and emotional death could lessen the pain that Bruce might feel, but it won't. It's just me.
Our dear Bruce, our mighty and lovable Bruce who just turned 1 is suffering from acute renal failure.
It seems so surreal. How could it possibly happen to him, to us? I still couldn't reconcile and point to the exact issue and it pains me every time to be away from him and when I do see him, he's in agony. His tail is automatic response of happiness, but his eyes do not lie. I won't even entertain the though of him gone. He knows I won't let him go. I can't let him go. And the possibility kills me every time. I know I must not think like this. Bruce has always been a fighter. He's my dog. He's strong. But how come I feel a tear is about to roll. I must stop for now...
So many things happened in the past couple of months. Most are good, ironically. Bruce fought his nasty battle with mange and he won. He nourished a new human partnership with Jake as his caretaker and walker. And he turned 1, with grace and charm. It's as if nothing could go wrong. Absolutely nothing.
And now Bruce is fighting his biggest battle yet. And I chose to fight it with him and give everything I got. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. We'll see, but it kills me each and every minute and each and every thought that creeps through. Whenever I think about it, it feels like dying over and over again. It wouldn't have been in vain if this internal and emotional death could lessen the pain that Bruce might feel, but it won't. It's just me.
Our dear Bruce, our mighty and lovable Bruce who just turned 1 is suffering from acute renal failure.
It seems so surreal. How could it possibly happen to him, to us? I still couldn't reconcile and point to the exact issue and it pains me every time to be away from him and when I do see him, he's in agony. His tail is automatic response of happiness, but his eyes do not lie. I won't even entertain the though of him gone. He knows I won't let him go. I can't let him go. And the possibility kills me every time. I know I must not think like this. Bruce has always been a fighter. He's my dog. He's strong. But how come I feel a tear is about to roll. I must stop for now...
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