Information is Key but...

When I first heard that Bruce had Acute Renal Failure there was a cloud of question mark forming above my head. Piecing together from the words itself, all I know is that it's a Kidney Failure and it happened abruptly. But as to the mortality rate, the symptoms, the cure and the cause of this deadly disease, I had no idea. I'm this naive dog owner who believes that as long as you provide dogs with good shelter, food and love, everything will be fine.

I went through denial, depression and what not. Of course I immediately brought him to veterinarian care. I resulted to prayers and as much as I admit it, GOOGLE. Yes, I'm one of those who gets irritated and crazy being thrown into some crisis without suitable information. I'm the type who will exhaust every data I can to learn everything there is know about a certain topic. With this disease, I want to know where it came from, prognosis, diagnosis and case studies. As much as I have faith and trust in the professionals, I also become my own doctor. In the office, in my IPAD, on my phone, I have read numerous articles and exhausted websites about Acute Renal Failure in Dogs. When I think I have read every forum and paper of about veterinary medicine, I will move on to Acute Renal failure in Humans. Anything that would make feel comfortable in battling this disease. If I intend to fight I'll be obsessive compulsive in pre-battle preparations.

From what I've read I've learned about CREA and UREA Blood levels. I've come to learn how to interpret  numbers and results. I've borrowed a nutritionist mindset. I've read success stories and have welcomed unfortunate documentations as well. I've taken notes of the possible causes and remedies. I've engaged in conversations and debates with Bruce's veterinarians and a veterinarian student which prompted him to tell me: "Why don't you go ahead and study veterinary medicine?" And just like anyone suffering from a medical ailment and resulted to Google, I became this "patient" from hell.

Probably I was just obsessed in gathering information because I just want to be more comfortable with whatever I'm dealing with. I want to learn from other people's experiences and I want to understand what the disease is all about. This challenge was given to me, well accepted, then I'll fight and learn from it. I felt I cannot just leave it up to professionals and faith. I knew that leading this battle required courage and planning and you can't have those when you don't have information.

As my doctor friend would used to say, information is such a rich spear only if you know how to use it. True. Google is a layman's gift to everything complicated! But if we continue to sponge in all the information on the net without much validation, we'd go depressed, crazy and paranoid.  Information is only valuable when it is validated by the people who's in the know. As much as you can gobble up research papers, we should be intelligent enough to sift information, make our own analysis and validate it with professionals. Information is a deadly weapon for people who don't know how to use it.

Going crazy with Google is good at some point. Thank God for Google for teaching me things! But I respect the power of information and I choose to wield it wisely.

TIPS: Type in ACUTE RENAL FAILURE IN DOGS and you will be led to a plethora of notable websites to help you and your dog cope with this disease. 

Bruce's Recovery: 1 Month After

Bruce is our miracle dog. Just after he turned 1 year old last June, he was diagnosed as suffering from Acute Renal Failure on July 3rd. He couldn't move, he couldn't sleep and he looked like he was about to welcome death. But we fought. I prayed so hard as we both tried to cope from depression. And after almost 2 weeks of intensive therapy and hospitalization, he was able to bounce back and was released to us for continued care.

When he came back home, as much as we wanted to forget the painful episode, on the first week we were all on strict monitoring of Bruce's progress. Acute Renal Failure is a fatal disease and damaged kidneys do not almost regenerate as fast. There's a high possibility of relapse as the doctor said and Google medical sites supported that claim. I've read that mortality rate is high and most dogs that survived most often graduated to chronic kidney failure. Select friends also shared that they had dogs who also suffered Acute Renal failure and just died even after weeks of therapy and signs good health. But I prayed and urged Bruce to be that minority, to be part of that small statistical number of dogs who survived and led a good quality of life.

It's been more than a month since he was diagnosed and it's now a month and 5 days since his release from the veterinarian. From the time he was released, he only displayed strength, vitality and positive energy and we can say that coming out from his sickness made him a better dog. His energy level remained high, his appetite remained aggressive and he maintained his sweet and protective disposition. No signs of vomiting. No signs of lethargy. No signs of pain and irritation. It was like coming out from a nightmare better than ever.

He is scheduled to visit his vet next week for some follow up check-up and blood test. I must admit, I'm anxious. His diet of low sodium, low phosphorus and protein will still apply. His kidney maintenance medicine and antioxidant will still be given. I know he is strong and he might be a miracle dog, but we've learned our lesson and we won't' be taking any chances. Acute Renal Failure is no big joke and I doubt the threat is totally diminished, so we'd continue to support him in whatever way possible so he may very well enjoy long years of quality life.

I'm so proud of all my dogs and I'm so thankful to Him, whom I believe really saved Bruce's life.

This was taken 2 weeks after he was released from the Vet. He maintained his loving, energetic and positive disposition. No signs of lethargy, pain and nausea. He is now more curious and excited about simple things. Spends his mornings with Harvey and enjoy sleep and food more than ever. 

Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith

This one was highly recommended by a colleague who also likes to read thrillers. The title was familiar, I'm sure I've seen it before. As I tried to remember, I attempted to pluck out the image of the cover that could reel the memory in. Alas, the attempt remained an attempt. Forget it. There's Google anyways. One click and I found out that it is the first book of a successful trilogy and it was already adapted into film starring Tom Hardy and Gary Oldman no less!! Where the hell was I?!!

With such a strong build up I decided to put this at the top notch of my shopping list for the week. I always need a good supply of thrillers. Irrationally thinking, there seems to be a good shortage in my shelf for self-imposed emergency situations. But I especially like it if I discover a good thriller coming from new and virtually unknown writers. Grisham, Cook, saver, Connelly, Child, Koontz would always be mainstream. They're in almost everyone's bookshelves and their titles are extensive. But to discover great, but minimal works of new authors, makes book reading so inspirational.

I loved this. I didn't put it down which is exactly what a good thriller book should do. Every time I had lull time, after dinner, between every task, I would always think of where I left off and when I could read a chapter or two. As soon as I got home, after catching up with my dogs and unless I need to meet up with someone, this occupied most of my time.

I loved how the story distinctly painted the profiles of lead characters like esteemed MGB agent Leo Demidov. The characterization, if that's the correct term, was superb. You would greatly connect a high ranking official with principles and unwavering loyalty to the state to becoming a fallen angel and enemy of the state. The scenarios, conflicts and twists support the complex development of the characters. Usually I find in thrillers characters just differ from victims and psychopaths. If character development is there, it's not as rich and compelling. In this book, you'll get to see the rise and fall, the weakness, choices and strengths the characters are faced in a setting of Communist Russia. There are tender (note: NOT CHEESY) moments to peek on a couple's relationship under the strain of societal pressure and pressure of each others' expectations. What's also interesting and profound compared to other thrillers I've read are the background and setting which vividly painted Russia during the heavy communist years. The writer effectively visualized what fictional Russia was like in Stalin's helm with all the fear, danger and restrictions that come with it. It opens up issues of forced justice, tortures in Lubyanka, national orphanages and homosexuality in a very masculine and strict army. These effective settings are essential to the protagonists story as they press on capturing a national psychotic killer before they are killed by the state. The writer brilliantly glued various conflicts together, the state and the killer, to develop the characters and at the same time produce a high grade thriller novel. Understandably, it's a tremendous feat. 

As a reader, while you enjoy the chase, you also enjoy the lush setting, historical snippets and brilliant characters you really can't bother with in other thriller novels. Probably that's why it's so profound is that there are so many things to enjoy and appreciate beside the usual formula. I actually enjoyed the story of the protagonists more than catching the killer which turned out to like a subplot.

If you are a fan of good thrillers, this shouldn't be missed. And it's the type of thriller that is brilliantly poised for a sequel. 

waterstones.com

SEQUELS: The Silent Speech and Agent 6

**The Silent Speech is quite hard to find. Had mine reserved and acquired in Fully Booked Fort. Still have yet to read it.

Defending Jacob By William Landay

I believe that a parent could never really be objective when it comes to his or her child. If there's a problem with the kid, it's always a struggle for the parents to come to terms with it. They blame outward forces even themselves for the shortcomings of their child. It's bad enough for a parent to accept that the child is average because sometimes kids should be seen as products of the exemplary parental rearing or genes. With love, protection and admiration, parents are always blinded when it comes to their kids, product of their unconditional love.

This book reminded me of how parents break down when it comes to their children. They keep a strong fort just because they are parents and sometimes sense goes out the window. Defending Jacob is a story about your average teenage kid accused of murdering a teenage boy. As the story develops, the normal boy isn't as normal as he seems.  At a first glance all evidence, observations and signs point to Jacob, but his parents and even his absentee grandparent will do anything to support their son. They become investigators, protectors and possible accomplice. This book also uses court drama and introduces a certain angle of a "murder" gene, which is an interesting angle to look into. The book reminds us how parents cope, suffer and struggle with denial, paranoia and stress. In this story, the parents take a full blow to shield their son from the crisis, save their relationships and to find out the truth about their son and the murder case.

I liked the book. It's a type of crime suspense thriller that doesn't give it all away. Throughout the book the reader will be entertaining possibilities and retracting it at the next chapter. Did he do it? Looks like he did it. No, he couldn't probably do it. Evidence are circumstantial, but at the same time Jacob still smells trouble. Chapters supply new data used to so many possibilities that nothing is entirely confirmed. And the ending was subtle but puts the reader's guesses to rest.

Good light read

Geek Tyrant.com

Loving John Malkovich

I watched Red 2 last weekend and he SAVED it if you ask me. I just had a strong abdominal exercise watching that film because of him.

And it just dawned on me that I'll probably die having an intense love and crush for Mr. John Malkovich. Sure, he has aged, but that voice, those eyes, that effortless screen presence, he's become more phenomenal to me. Try to make him speak nonsense with that voice of his and it will end up like listening to an intelligent documentary. I like his voice and Jeremy Irons, but John Malkovich has a bitchy and snobby flair. Watching him in 1988's Dangerous Liaison, yes the original period piece version of Cruel Intentions where he played Sebastian, I thought can I be... the chaste Michelle Pfeifer just this once?

This guy can do anything. Hard Drama, Action and freaking comedy! He's so gifted that he makes me watch movies just because he's in it.

I love him since Empire of the Sun.

Please make more movies, Mr. Malkovich!

releasedonkey.com (CAN I SAY I LOVE BOTH OF THEM?!! CHRISTIAN BALE and HIM)

theguardian.com

dontforgetatowel.com

headcushion21.blogspot.com

Waiting by Ha Jin

The person, who waits literally or figuratively, always puts himself at a disadvantaged position. At least that’s how I see it, well that’s what I feel. Never mind the grand reward at the end of the waiting game whether it’s an illusion or not something always gets sacrificed along the way. In some positive to miraculous cases, the waiting game would come into fruition. People would always pat themselves at the back and tell the world, “It was damn worth the wait!” But even so while waiting, time was still sacrificed, people still tend to worry and emotions were at a high because they know that at some point they took that risk. And in any form of risk, even if the investment was worth it, equally opens itself to failure. Time, psychological well being and resources almost always get sacrificed. In waiting, people anticipate, worry get frustrated and recalculate. Was the wait worth it? Excellent if it is. Horrible if it isn’t But whatever the outcome is, some things have already been lost and the person who shells these would be the same person who waits. It’s just the way it is.

This book puts into perspective the usual activity that we always seem to find ourselves doing in our everyday lives, voluntarily or involuntarily. We all wait for something we lose something along the way may it be time, youth, resources and sanity. This book was such a painful yet a wonderful treat because you get to read about beautifully developed characters that waited and ended up sacrificing a huge chunk of their lives to get things that they want The mistress waits for her lover to divorce his legal wife so they could start their lives together. The husband patiently waits for his wife to release him. The wife at the end of the story patiently waits for her husband to come back to her. In between, certain powerful desires meshed with their growing careers and societal freedom in communist China spins a more interesting and complicated waiting game. Reading this story is like delightfully waiting on how things would end. As a reader, it’s as if you’re waiting with them as they get old, more mature and sour. Sometimes you get frustrated and how irrational these characters can be, but it reminds you that once you’ve been in that position before. You opted to wait however hopeless and painful.

Despite the frustrations and irrationality, the reader could not really blame why these characters are waiting.  We’ve been there once. Ha Jin beautifully writes the story in a simple language and efficiently develops the character after the long wait. The author distinctly points out the plot challenges and character frustrations. If there’s a book that beautifully paints a noble perspective of waiting, it’s this. I was moved and enlightened. I became a fan overnight. Read this and you'll be transported and reflect on what you're waiting for in life. 

GStatic.com

Waiting is a sacrifice as it is a game. It’s painfully delicious no matter what the cost and waiting makes us human. But the beauty and essence of waiting is to fully know and desire what you’re waiting for. Otherwise, it would just be a total waste of time. 

The White Devil by Justin Evans

I started book collecting and reading with R.L. Stine.  I am a sucker for horror literature. But genuinely, good books in this genre are quite harder to break. Reading horror books requires a very creative mind, the literature has to help mold that world with the reader. Otherwise it would just be words that fall short in gore and scare. This is where the visual aspects in movie are more appreciated.

From a girl trained to read RL Stine while I was a child, I think I can play horrific scenes in my head effortlessly. I rely on descriptions in horrors, hanging eeriness and fluidly written actions that charge the brain to visualize scenes effortlessly. “An angry hunched man chanes the boy” vs. “the hunched man picks up speed with arms stretched, tongue rolled out and eyes burning wild as he turns this chase into a delightful game of prey and hunted.” Good horror books need to have a good story and visually charged writing to compliment the horrific plot. A good plot with bad writing is a waste.

The White Devil by Justin Evans was a surprise pick from Fully Booked. I was caught up with the title and plot. An American teenager was sent to an old English Boarding school and then encounters a ghost that triggers unexplained deaths with series of students. This sounds your old school ghost horror with a detective taste. Let's give it a try.

Aside form the ghost, the plot has some aspects to offer like dealing with sexuality and bullies. The ghost here is a protective and revengeful homosexual by the way. But aside from the lush description of an old boarding school, which is not that hard to imagine, and the surprise encounters with a ghost in hidden rooms, I was not entirely captured by this book. I got lost in the detective parts, sleepy in some chapters and failed to understand the why's. Probably this is a gloomy horror targeted for youngsters, but it rarely made my skin crawl. If there’s one thing that gave an attempt for scare is when a sacrifice was done at the end of the story by the protagonist. But then again, it just falls short for me. I can read this in a deserted house or I can read this in a deserted English boarding school! It just didn’t cut out for me.

**This is a perfect case of a good synopsis, good 1st chapter and a kick-ass cover. 

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