Happy 2014

As my first post for this year, I'd like to wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2014!

Yes! Finally it's the New Year cause I so want to leave 2013 behind! In life we may have good years and bad years and I can say 2013 was a bad year for me. 2010-2012 was a blast, but 2013? You've got to be kidding me! (Inserting: Sarcastic laugh)

The Run Down:

Health

2013:   I'm not a sickly person. I rarely file sick leaves. I don't get fever and cough. Colds are an exception cause I've been dealing with allergies all my life and colds are usually triggered by it. But last year I had a couple of bad stomachs, a really nasty flu which made me skip work for a week and tons of migraines, 2-3 times in 3 months. Can I also say that I didn't have an exercise routine at all and I ate like there's no tomorrow? At least I wasn't hospitalized...yet.

2014:   To have less migraines please. And I don't want to be hospitalized for anything. I still want to continue my allergy-attack free streak and to not have flu. I also plan to keep health as one of my top priorities by exercising regularly (ugh) and eating less fatty foods. I will have to choose fruits over some Starbucks trip. Less desserts. Less Booze. More to facials, detoxifying and wellness regimens!

Work

2013:   I admit, I was very very disappointment on how my work turned out. Part of it is due to the incompetence of higher people around me and honestly I was riding on emotions. I honestly felt I did a good job in the 1st half, but it just wore me off after June. I decided to take things slow and by taking it slow I began to put career at the backseat. I still do my job of course, but it's more of to meet deadlines and do what's necessary. There was a time I dread going to work and as soon as I clocked in the more I wanted to go home. I'm missing the passion to do more. I was in complete hibernation mode.

2014:  Time to get back to my old self! Got to get that passion back to compete and achieve. It may also be a perfect time to reconsider other opportunities. It's time to do more but never reach overdrive.

Relationships

2013:  I've had the chance to rekindle friendships. That's one of the good things I've achieved this year. But this year is also a year I've considered to cut friendships as well. It's not personal, it's just the way it is. We're getting older and I don't think we need to waste time on people we think we're friends with just because. It's sad to cut ties because who doesn't want friends? But we're not living in a cheerio bubble. People change, things change, relationships come and go. Connections either sizzle or fizzle. That goes the same for not focusing on the good ones as well. I've had complaints about me taking for granted people who care for me, well that's the ultimate let down.

2014:  I plan to keep good relationships close and rebuild relationships that matter. It's time to at least devote an aspect of my life to nourishing relationships. I know, it's so not me, but at least it's time to try. I'm 30 for crying out loud. I may have lost lots of friends in the 20's, but I don't mind keeping a few friends in tact, as long as the quality is real and stronger than a 2 year contract. I may not be the clingy and affectionate type ever, but believe me that I value friends and I value good relationships. I guess I am willing to make it work.

Money

2013:  Ayayay. Where do we start? Just like work, I let this aspect of my life go to waste. It was shameful. To be honest, I haven't done a productive with money. Everything's devoted to pure enjoyment and expense. This is by far my worst...financially. I remember the times when I still had meager salary but I was able to save. But in 2013...hell no! It seemed all my money's going out the window and no...they're not investments. Everything was for temporary and shallow joys in life. Most of it are for emergency expenses. Shame. Shame Shame. I am disgusted by my 2013. I may not have debts, that's true, but I ate out of my savings and I don't even have a solid investment. Honestly, I don't even want to talk about it.

2014:   It's not too late to start, that's the bright side of things. At 30, probably I can still turn things around. I over enjoyed myself too much in 2013. It's time to get serious and actually save. It's time to also try some investments. Not everything is for temporary pleasure only, right? Time to cut down on book shopping, intensive dining out (which takes out a huge chunk of my salary) and worthless material acquisitions just because it's cute and I'm feeling impulsive. It's the time to NOT OVERINDULGE, but it's time to be an adult when it comes to money.

Reading

2013:  This is one of the strengths for this year. I turned into a reading monster. Every week I try to finish a book and start a new one. My book acquisition doubled turning my desk into an emergency shelf. I've literally ran out of space to house my new collection. Book acquisition and book reading were phenomenal this year.

2014:  Continue what I've started and will religiously catalogue books the entire year. I initially wanted to catalogue my library before 2014 starts, but I realize it will be a year-long process. That's fine, at least I started already with my log book. Also, will try to look for a free library software to at least take advantage of technology. I'm looking forward to new books, new reviews and excellent work coming my way this year.

Writing

2013:  Very weak. That's all I can say. You can judge by the posts of this blog. Also, I've stopped writing some of my short stories. All successful writers would always say to write at least a sentence in a day. Well I haven't done that. I write at a whim and it got me nowhere.

2014:  Time to turn things around. Just like my resolution the previous year, I will try to post one entry per day. I'd like to think of what my theme this year would be like: "What made this day awesome?" or "365 days of my life: Day 1." I have a friend who captures great images she encounters in a day. She dubs it as 365 Days, 365 photos of my life. I plan to emulate her scheme. And of course, I plan to continue writing stories brewing in my head. This is the perfect year to start.

Travel:

2013:   I was not able to step out of the country this year, a very drastic change from the previous years. What a waste of perfectly good time and weather. Shameful. I used to go gaga over travels, but this year even my domestic pursuits fail in comparison to previous years.

2014:   Travel? Travel to far off places while I'm young and able. I plan to snag a certified travel buddy soon. If God permits, I can work out a Europe trip. If not, probably a New York Trip. I plan to go to Palawan and visit Cebu and Roxas often. Yes, I plan to travel lots this year.


Dogs

2013:  How can I forget 2013? I nearly lost my Bullmastiff to an acute renal failure. It was a 2 week devastating turn of events. I was depressed. I couldn't care less about work, my time and my relationships. My eyes and heart focused on my gentle giant. I was crying in supermarkets. It was that bad. I never experienced grief, but it was as if my heart will be pulled out from my chest. It was a stressful time for me psychologically and financially. And of course, Harvey my JRT would also share his own darker moments. He had a emergency case wherein I had to rush from work at 8 pm and bring him to the vet to be confined because we thought he swallowed rat poison, which turned out to be false alarm. Also just recently, a minor surgery for a knife deep cut in his neck c/o of his rough play with Bruce. Unbelievable. Probably I spent 60,000 PHP in all their medical costs. That 60,000 pesos EXCLUDES 1,000 per week food grocery, 600 per month vitamin bottle, 300 per month knick  knacks, 1000 per month salary and 500 per month water and bath supplies.
             One major happy thing for 2013, aside from the fact that my dogs are still alive and well, is that my family and I adopted a puppy from our irresponsible neighbor.

2014:  Good health, please! And no physical accidents. I don't want to go through what I had to last 2013. It was hell.


Summary: See what I mean by shitty? Out of all the major aspects of my life, only reading came positive. The rest were shadowed by dark ages. I didn't get to formally study on something nor finished writing stories. I wasn't able to save and spent a lot on useless things (now that I think of it). I didn't lose weight and I don't think I have a healthy lifestyle (far from it). And I took for granted relationships and didn't focus on work that much. Wow. Talk about nailing it right through the head. 

But that's why I am recognizing them for what it is because I have to make peace with them. I know now what my 2013 looked like and please kill me if I didn't do anything about in 2014.

Moving on in 5...4...3...2..1!

Happy New Year Folks! I don't know about you, but I'm already digging 2014.

Slow Down December 28

December 28. It's one of the days between post and pre-holidays that I simply know that Christmas is finally over, but then again I'm still anticipating another round of merry making. It's either by this time I would savor or get sick of the multiple reheats of all leftover food. I usually feel absolutely bloated from all the happiness, tangible and intangible, that I've consumed. So 28 and the days in between Christmas and New Years are days that I take it slow...and reflect.

What I usually ponder on these days would be how my 2013 turned out and what I'd like my 2014 to shape up. Simply to close the past and prepare for the future.

For the past there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I don't cry over spilt milk. I just acknowledge it for what it is and let go. All that's left is to highlight are the good ones and remember the bad parts to learn from it. I can cuss a word or two, sure but there's nowhere to go but forward. Leaving a year has never been my problem.

Cause I always like new starts and change. New Years are perfect symbols of that. It's a celebration to start the year right and on a clean slate. It's that time to at least attempt to kick off that resolution and hopefully stick with it. Probably it's a perfect day to start saving and ironing out one's finances. Or it's a perfect day to look at the calendar and plan your vacation leaves to travel to places you haven't been last year. It's the best opportunity to take advantage of the positive feeling and turn things around your way. In my previous posts I always stress that I enjoy the new year. To start of it off, group my new year into quarters. First Quarter is to shape up my goals and setting the tone for the year. Second Quarter is usually the hardest with follow throughs. Third Quarter is nailing it full steam ahead while Fourth Quarter is left to be honest with oneself and start assessing what you still can and can't do. I know it's a bit rigid and neurotic, but it helps you get through the year to constantly know your destination. I prefer to not to flit around day by day without a clean goal or perspective. For those who haven't done the year as a road map or in quadrants, I suggest you try! :)

But of course, no matter how we try to turn things around let's not forget that we are imperfect humans living such imperfect lives. There will be challenges and there will be dark moments in every year. It's just a matter of turning old a year wiser and stronger to withstand any hardships in life. That's what I always hope. I hope my 30 years of existence brought me at least an ounce of wisdom and strength.

Well I didn't intend for this post to be lengthy but might as well get a freehand in it.

And to be honest, 2013 was a shitty year for me. There's nothing wrong recognizing that. There were a lot of dark ages and frustrations in 2013 and there's nothing wrong in recognizing that. We have good years we have bad years. But thank you that it's ending and I'm still here. Never been happy to move on to another year. 2014, here we come!

After Revolutionary Road....Lull Time

Sadly after a series of profound and outstanding books that immediately captivated me, it was followed by a series of equally renowned books that I can not for the life of me appreciate as of this point. Sometimes this phase always happens after having a good roll.   Catch 22, Mother of Pearl, Middlesex, Unbearable lightness of Being, these books are best sellers, worth of anyone's time, but for some reason I skip from one book to the next hoping something could anchor me in. It’s quite ironic that I can’t latch on to something, but this is not alarming. It’s happened before.

Sometimes mood has got a lot to do with it. I’ve known that as a reader that some books just don’t speak to you at a specific time. I read Anna Karenina in High School, some parts I fully understand, some parts were difficult, but when I read them again at college, it was like a totally new book to me, I appreciated it more. I read The Corrections 3 years ago and I stopped at the 20^th chapter, but I’ve read it again this year and it was hilarious. I’ve come to realize that if I sense that I’m not enjoying a particular book, it doesn’t mean that the work is worthless, probably it’s just not speaking to me at this point. Probably my mind was restless at that time and I’d want something else. I can’t be forced to read classics one after the other. Sometimes there’s a need to read one of my brother’s teen fiction books because my attention span is so low. Maybe my reading palate at that time doesn’t require melodramatic or contemporary stories. Maybe what you want is fantasy and an easy-go-lucky charm. There are times  you just go in a phase of figuring out what your mind wants to read and often times it means to give yourself a break and not read anything at all. 

I've known this so well that after reading 3-4 good books, I immediately anticipate a lull time.  It's not something to be alarmed about for all book readers out there. We just need a break sometimes. Have a trip to the bookstore and just browse. And you'll be surprised that the books you’ve tossed aside years or months ago, thinking that it was unworthy, is the actual book that can save you during these times.

Revolutionary Road

BACKLOG

Revolutionary Road

by Richard Yates

I don’t understand why I haven’t read this before. This book is excellent...and haunting. I recommend that everyone should at least read it, especially those who are getting married. After a series of fun and not so-fun books, this comes out profound and breathtaking. I literally couldn’t put it down and even if I finish one chapter and start another, it leaves scenes in my head. How can the plot not be haunting when the supposed to be perfect relationship reveals to be rotting and destructive amidst the hopes and dreams set in a suburban life. It's haunting because the characters are as real as it gets. It could be your officemate, the person beside you in the bus. It could be anyone's relationship and it just could easily be yours. 

It’s a story about two people who shouldn’t be together in the first place. What’s more haunting than that? They enter marriage with hopes and ideals that don’t necessarily translate into reality. Here’s a wife who seeks for adventure, to not be confined in the usual suburban perfect household and who is not defined by her being a mother and a dutiful wife. Here’s a guy who has embedded the notion of success around acquiring a stable job, a good dutiful wife and a family he can provide for. Both aspire to be the better versions of each other even with the good intention to support one another only to fall short in actions as their true selves emerge. 

The story starts off sweet with a promise. They openly speak about their ideals and how they would not let themselves be branded as just another suburban what normal couples do. They vocally shared their need to be different, to experience life to the fullest. Everything seems to be sweet and promising until circumstances and certain comforts lead them to where they're not supposed to be. Soon the wife becomes frustrated, bored and helpless while the husband slowly falls into a comfortable routine, enjoying the role of any suburban father, providing security and stability. They had hope to be different at the first part of the novel, but the horror is that they are ending up to be the exact same persons they didn't want to be, the normal unimaginative suburban family. As they tried to pursue each other’s dreams, they soon realize that one has to give way to the other. The wife tends to be the one passively sacrificing until she became fed up to the point of hating the relationship and hating the her husband as a person. 

They are individuals who are in love with the figment of their dreams and hopes for each other. They both wanted different things in the beginning and it’s haunting to have them realize it too late when they already have roles to play and kids to consider. The husband knew the needs of his wife, but he wanted to present the better life to her thinking it was enough. The wife knew she would reach the breaking point but decides to continue simmering until it was too late. Hurtful words and dialogues far too real to be heard in ordinary couples clinch this book into a massive force. It’s not enough that the author efficiently speaks out the mind of Frank Wheeler or the acute observations on April Wheeler, but the conversations and interactions are very much an integral part of this whole masterpiece. “If you hate me so much, why are you living in my home? Why are eating the food that I provide?!”

Here marriage is an illusion and nothing’s more haunting than being involved in that.  

The Emperor's Children

BACKLOG

The Emperor’s Children 

by Claire Messud

I initially wanted to by Claire Messud’s The Woman Upstairs, her latest novel that’s been receiving good raves in literary blogs and magazines. But being currently hot on the market, even hard bound books are hard to obtain. Not that I would immediately get the hard bound book. I can always wait for trade paper backs especially for contemporary fiction. As I tried to research on Claire Messud’s background, I found out that she was first known for her novel The Emperor’s Children. I searched in Fully Booked and found one in Alabang. It was on hardbound. Clearly, I opted to wait for The Woman Upstairs instead. But after a few weeks on my regular trip to our neighboring Booksale, I came upon the hardbound copy of The Emperor’s Children for just 100 pesos. SOLD!

I read The Emperor’s Children on one gloomy day when the monsoon rains were beating the metro and I had to skip work. It thought it was the perfect novel. Contemporary on a gloomy day. A colleague of mine told me that he heard the novel was pretentious and not a good read. Well, I was even more intrigued than ever. I read the book from cover to cover only stopping for lunch or bathroom break. But sadly it was not because of the suspense and the intensity of the story, but it was just one of those days that my mood cooperated and I really wanted to get this done and over with.  My attention span was stable like the weather and I wanted to stick to the novel hoping that some chapter, some events would turn it around for me. In short, my mood and attention were just forgiving this day. 

Sadly, it wasn’t great. I was thinking it would be in the same league as St. Aubyn’s, but it was not. It was just a more sophisticated version of women trying to find themselves in the world, trying to be dramatic, when it’s not. I believe the word here is “pretentious” and that’s exactly what my colleague said. It’s a story about women in their 30’s trying to figure out what life is beyond the glitter and glamour of their world. There’s this popular, rich and beautiful daughter of a renowned novelist and there’s this brilliant and collected best friend who involves herself with a married man. There are of course distinct characters that will serve philosophical exchanges about life, but it’s all too trying hard for me. There were instances that I really don’t understand the purpose of the chapter, but I just had to go through the motions, if I were in any other unforgiving mood, I would’ve slammed the book and started another. I sensed that everything’s either trying hard to be dramatic that it turns out to be flat and superfluous. I believe some parts just prolonged the story and quite unnecessary. It wasn’t a treat in any case. If for anything, it would’ve been short story with the characters intact. 

Thank goodness I only read it the entire day. Finished it in 10 hours without much to say and grabbed the first book of Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments to sweep off the lull.

After 2 weeks: I saw The Woman Upstairs in National Bookstore in hardbound. Nah, I’d wait for paper back or probably an e-book copy. 

Ender's Game

BACKLOG Post

Ender’s Game

Orson Scott Card

Sci-Fi Books in general are not my cup of tea. In sci-fi genres, I would be effortlessly lost in materials, plots and details that if and when I decide to read one, it would entail a lot of concentration and an open mind. I'll take on heavy classics any day. 

Every time I read sci-fi, my pace would be so slow and I often get tired after. I tried to read Frank Herbert’s Dune two years ago. It took me months an

d a couple of books in between. The first few chapters got me, but in the middle of the alien worms, planet relocation and hoopla, I was just completely lost. I "threw" that book once out of frustration. After that, I tried to stay clear from Sci-Fi to recover. Fantasy and futuristic books I can handle, but aliens, future battle ships, space and gears are just alien to me. There is a lot of detail and imagination in that genre, I applaud them all (including Dune), but it's just so....

Though I tried to stay clear from Sci-Fi for quite some time (Thanks to Dune), I knew I would have to orient myself in 1 to 2 sci-fi books per year at least. So I tried to research on the top best sellers for sci-fi cause I had no allowance to experiment.  Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game always comes to the top of my list, in any reputable lists for that matter. I’ve heard of this before from friends who read sci-fi and I guess if I’m ever going to expose myself again in this genre, might as well pick one of the best. 

Ender’s Game cover wasn’t really enticing for me with all that gray metal battle ships. I was actually scared of starting it, but I figured it won't be that bad. It appeals generally kids and they will make a movie out of it soon.  

The thing is, it will never be one of my favorite books of all time, but it was bearable. Take it from a non-sci fi lover like me. It centers on the story of Ender Wiggin who is kick-ass smart, brave yet troubled youth, who enters the futuristic Battle School that teaches him to defeat the so-called “buggers” who threaten to destroy earth. In the Battle school, we read the disheartening story of old-school bullying and the longing for acceptance. Also in this book, we get to read tactical plays (some if it are hard to grasp, best to leave it to the movie to fully appreciate) in every battle sequences as we also get to have a glimpse of the government, the minor political field on earth and the equally troubled siblings of the main character.

I would automatically forget the technical parts of the story, though the concept of Battle School and Battle tournaments are cool. But if there's one thing that would stick with me it was how a 6-12 year old boy handled intense bullying in the system. Ender was bullied endlessly and sometimes physically challenged by his colleagues and trainers. Coming of age and dealing with intense teenage rivalry in a sci-fi set up is not as petty as it seems. 

I can easily see why this became one of the top sci-fi books. It’s sci-fi yet very easy to read. There’s a strong human element in this story. It's a cool book for teens too, keeps them strong amidst adversity. Coupled with fairly twisted and interesting characters, it’s a perfect book to be read by intelligent children and budding sci-fi novelists. The feeling reminds me of reading the classic Wrinkle in Time though in a more futuristic setting and an edgier plot.