I don't usually get sick and I say this in all honesty. I don't get coughs. I can't remember the last time I had fever. Colds, yeah sure, but nothing that would keep me immobile. I've had allergy attacks, but last year I was allergy free and this means it could be managed. But colds coupled with migraine that ultimately results to fever is ruthless. Migraine and Fever break me completely. I can't eat. I'm sensitive to light, weather changes and pressure. I get cranky. I can't think and I can't do anything productive. I can't even read or watch TV. The most I could do is listen to soothing sounds or sit on a chair like an old man and look at my dogs as they keep me company. I had my last migraine last September. But I never had migraine, plus colds and fever.
Tuesday night from a team dinner, I thought I was going to pass out. I drove myself home from work, even stopped by the gas station, keeping my wits alive. As soon as I got home, I quickly changed, went to the bathroom with no lights on and slept with massive throbbing in my head. At dawn when I woke up, I knew I was in trouble. Fever completely consumed me as my head began to ache again. The pain and discomfort were forcing me to surrender to rest. There was nothing I could possibly do. I couldn't work and even drop my boyfriend at the airport, which I've promised. I had to rely on colleagues and my sister for those two deliverables I had.
So I did. I rested. I slept the entire day, only waking up when I needed to go to the bathroom or eat. I didn't do anything productive. I didn't write, read, blog, surf or even watch TV. My IPAD, laptop and journal were untouched. The only productive thing I ever did was put water in Bruce's dish and watched my dogs frolic in our backyard. There was I in my pajamas sitting like an old man on a chair watching my dogs. Looking at the clear afternoon sky and the cool breeze, for a moment I was at peace. I knew I was going to get better.
I ended my day completely surrendering to sleep and rest. I'm at peace that I wasn't able to do anything productive. I hated it at first. I didn't know if I'd die because of the sickness or I completely wasted my day without doing anything. But sickness, no matter how capable and old we are, would really break us. That time when the sickness brings unbearable pain and the spirit and mentality become weak, that's when we surrender to rest. Being unproductive sucks, but doing it for a day when you really need it the most would enable you to join the game of life in no time.
Yesterday I was completely wiped out. But today's a different story. I find myself reading and blogging. I feel better...way better. No more headaches and body aches. My fever's gone and I can think clearly. My voice is slightly husky from the sore throat and colds, but it's something I can live with. I'm not 100% yet, but I'm getting there. I'm totally getting better.
Thanks to my parents who still have time to take care of a 29 capable woman. I just realized something, that no matter how old we think we are, parents are still parents. When they see their child break, they would do everything to make it better. My dad bought me comfort food and my mom replenished my pineapple juice. I finished everything! My sister in between her interviews and all night-partying, assumed the task that I promised doing. My brother was agreeable. My boyfriend from out of town allowed me to be needy and miserable in phone calls and text messages. We are humans and we are susceptible to moments of being frail and week. Only in sickness would I realize the importance of not only rest but of strong support. It made my recovery faster and sweeter and it makes me get back right on track.
Tuesday night from a team dinner, I thought I was going to pass out. I drove myself home from work, even stopped by the gas station, keeping my wits alive. As soon as I got home, I quickly changed, went to the bathroom with no lights on and slept with massive throbbing in my head. At dawn when I woke up, I knew I was in trouble. Fever completely consumed me as my head began to ache again. The pain and discomfort were forcing me to surrender to rest. There was nothing I could possibly do. I couldn't work and even drop my boyfriend at the airport, which I've promised. I had to rely on colleagues and my sister for those two deliverables I had.
So I did. I rested. I slept the entire day, only waking up when I needed to go to the bathroom or eat. I didn't do anything productive. I didn't write, read, blog, surf or even watch TV. My IPAD, laptop and journal were untouched. The only productive thing I ever did was put water in Bruce's dish and watched my dogs frolic in our backyard. There was I in my pajamas sitting like an old man on a chair watching my dogs. Looking at the clear afternoon sky and the cool breeze, for a moment I was at peace. I knew I was going to get better.
I ended my day completely surrendering to sleep and rest. I'm at peace that I wasn't able to do anything productive. I hated it at first. I didn't know if I'd die because of the sickness or I completely wasted my day without doing anything. But sickness, no matter how capable and old we are, would really break us. That time when the sickness brings unbearable pain and the spirit and mentality become weak, that's when we surrender to rest. Being unproductive sucks, but doing it for a day when you really need it the most would enable you to join the game of life in no time.
Yesterday I was completely wiped out. But today's a different story. I find myself reading and blogging. I feel better...way better. No more headaches and body aches. My fever's gone and I can think clearly. My voice is slightly husky from the sore throat and colds, but it's something I can live with. I'm not 100% yet, but I'm getting there. I'm totally getting better.
Thanks to my parents who still have time to take care of a 29 capable woman. I just realized something, that no matter how old we think we are, parents are still parents. When they see their child break, they would do everything to make it better. My dad bought me comfort food and my mom replenished my pineapple juice. I finished everything! My sister in between her interviews and all night-partying, assumed the task that I promised doing. My brother was agreeable. My boyfriend from out of town allowed me to be needy and miserable in phone calls and text messages. We are humans and we are susceptible to moments of being frail and week. Only in sickness would I realize the importance of not only rest but of strong support. It made my recovery faster and sweeter and it makes me get back right on track.
No comments:
Post a Comment