Early Weekend MOjito

With the stress these past few months, work and personal included, I am thankful that I latched on to reading. In harder times, books spell out reliable escapes and often times lead you to inspiring stories. At least my love for books did not waver. Reading and buying novels did not slow down. If not, it became my refuge.

For the past few months I was reunited with Chevalier, Murakami, Brooks, Rand, Oates, Fitzgerald, Franzen and Proulx to name a few. I also came to know Landay, Ha Jin, Reardon, Chabon, Evans, Hillier, Nemirovsky and Bulgakov.

Unfortunately, what I have to say about those books I've already written but left at my office home drive. Sadly, I won't write it again cause my expensive burger is getting cold. Silly me. I'll retrieve those Monday and post it next week to whoever wants to read.

Right now, I'm trying to forget a bad movie and probably visit the newly minted Fully Booked store later and get Jamba Juice.

And I have to say, it's always good to start the weekend early with a fatty burger and an Iced cold strawberry mojito!!!!

Thank God for the job that pays for this. Thank God for my unused vacation leaves. Thank God for life and peace.

Happy weekend!

CHILLI'S AT ALABANG 

The Worst is Over

I'd like to think the worst is over.  For the past 2 weeks Bruce had battled acute renal failure and more bluntly, death. If we had delayed another day more before bringing him to the vet, he would've succumbed to coma and would've died. If his spirit was weak and questionable, he wouldn't have lasted any minute longer. If our faith wavered and swayed, I would be blogging a sob story right now. No, this blog is about a calm peace of celebration.

The truth is, it was a very hard and challenging battle. It was emotionally, physically, psychologically and financially draining. All the aspects you could thing of that could devastate a man, I think I have endured. Emotionally I was a total wreck. Just thinking about how he was feeling and how he was forced to stay in the vet without his family crushed my heart every single day. The thought of him limping and dying made me go mad. Tears would be free falling at work, while driving, doing the groceries practically anytime and anywhere.  I'd cry myself to sleep and lock myself at the bathroom for hours. Physically, I had changed my body clock to accommodate his needs so that I could drive and endure heavy traffic just to be with him. I'd like to think I lost a few pounds cause eating was never savory as it used to. Psychologically, I was battling myself to stay stronger. Financially I cleared out whatever cash I had. I had to pay for blood tests, medicine, the therapy, daily professional fees and medicine, not to mention buying prime meats, rice, vegetables and water for his diet. All of that I endured with my family at my back. But all of that was nothing compared to what he was going through. I don't want to discount the fact that our young bullmastiff, who just turned 1 year old a month ago, might have felt unmeasurable pain and confusion.

Acute renal failure happens fast and it's fatal. Not all dogs survive despite medication and care. Some dogs relapse. A small percentage only lives good years, could be considered a miracle case, some might graduate on to chronic renal failure. Dogs die in this disease. And sometimes science cannot do anything about it. As much as a responsible and able pet owner can offer solace and comfort to the dog, half of it depends on dog's strength and willingness to survive. Most of it depends on prayers. And I've never prayed so hard in my life.

Bruce fought hard. I know he did. Two weeks of sleepless nights for me and two weeks of painful, boring and depressing nights for him. With God's grace and mercy, we endured it. Every single day I'd wake up at 5 am to be at the office at 6 am so I could visit him and bring him food at 5 pm in the afternoon. Every single day I would drive to him, talk to him and encourage him to fight. All days were better days. Everyday he was getting stronger.  Everyday my faith was renewed. And I think my whole family brought us closer to gather under one purpose. It was to see Bruce home with us, alive and well.

Finally on July 13, Saturday, after his whiny anticipation and ours, the vet gave him clearance to leave and voiced out their awe and admiration for Bruce the mere fact that his recovery was one in a million. Two weeks of fluid therapy, crappy food and depressing set up brought back his health. On the day we brought him home, we were witnesses to his happiness radiating from his eyes. We saw him jump when two weeks ago he was painfully limping. I saw how my family and even Harvey and Chivas missed him so much. We saw his own faith in himself renewed and it seemed all our challenges and tears were worth it. If my heart could burst from happiness, it would've exploded on the spot.

Tomorrow will mark his 1st week towards recovery and he's doing better than ever. For the whole week he was strictly monitored for any negative signs of possible relapse. Thankfully there was none. For the whole week, I retained my schedule at work so that I could comfort and be with him the whole afternoon. It's like a new person enjoying a new lease in life. He eats more now, plays more and rests more. I don't know if our scolding gets to his brains, but I hope somehow God would make him understand that we love him so much and we won't let anything happen to him or to any of our dogs. He's home now. He's getting well and its staying that way.


CREATININE LEVEL: From 7 to 1.8 (10 days hospitalization)
BUN: From 65 to 18
No Limping and Pain.
Eats like a monster, plays like there's no tomorrow
He begins irritating everyone with this antics

So I guess he's back to normal, and the worst is finally over.

Taken on the 1st day of his official homecoming. We missed him so much. 

Mighty Bruce's Battles: 2nd phase of Confinement

Saturday afternoon until Sunday noon he was with us. Most of the time he was resting, lying down and would easily fall into sleep. Occasionally he would stand up, play with Harvey and walk with us, but he was still struggling. He still had problems standing up. He seemed to be in pain from the IV insertion or his kidneys. But he was still responsive whenever we’d cheer him on. For sure he isn’t clearly 100% well yet, but he was so much better than the previous days. But just like any other recovering patient, he was still weak.

Thus it was decided Sunday lunch that we had to bring him back to the vet much to my dismay and initial reluctance. As a family, we decided to continue his treatment until his CREA levels go down to an acceptable 1.5 and his BUN would significantly decline at least to 30 from 50. The veterinarian gave us a choice to wait it out and monitor him for a week or bring him in immediately. We cannot allow that one week to chance. Sense pushed me that as much as it pained me, he will have to continue his therapy and get confined again. I’m just hoping that his quick overnight sojourn in our home livened up his spirits somehow and infused renewed strength and hope in him.

During the night he spent with us, we concentrated so much to make him feel comfortable. All our attention was with him. We prepared his sleeping area, brought him some comfortable blanket and I would always accompany him while he sleeps. I thought that not for one second will he feel he was alone battling this. We cooked him a special low protein meal, which he savored in less than 2 minutes. I was still hopeful because at least his appetite was still strong. He continued to drink his kidney recovery supplements and he still responded to our cheers despite the obvious pain and weakness he was still feeling. Taking in consideration his improved blood results and his positive response to medication, we as family, collectively felt to return him to the vet to receive further care and fluid therapy in the hopes that his blood level would at least normalize. He was better than last week, but it was still far from over. 

As much as it hurt to think that he would be spending days in the hospital, I knew this was something he needed to do in order to fully recover. To prepare, my sister, cousin and I bathed him while he was lying down. He stood up, limping, dried himself and circled around the garden one last time. My sister prepared the car as I guided him to the back seat, hugging him as a support while he walked. Just like a gentle, obedient dog, with his remaining energy, he marched to the car with full surrender.

What really made me and my sister cry was when we arrived at the vet. As soon as he got off the car, he took it all in. He walked defeated and willingly entered his cage that he spent a couple of nights in. It hit me hard because he is such an obedient and sweet dog. He never gave us problems. And even though he knew in his heart that we would leave him, he was the one who led us to his cage to settle in there with no fuss, no inhibitions. It was his full surrender to the sickness that emotionally killed me. Bruce seemed stronger than his owner. 

On the ride home I cried so hard that I felt my heart was being squeezed by a strong hand of a wrestler. I felt being killed repeatedly.  I was mad at myself. I asked God questions that I shouldn’t have. I was mad at nature. I would willingly trade my kidney for his. I was willing to do a bargain with someone. Remembering his face, his charm, sweetness and the joy he gave me and my family, made me want to jump on a cliff for him. I never realized I could love a dog so much, all of my dogs for that matter that I’m willing to sacrifice everything that I have just to see them well. I know it’s a bit dramatic and exaggerated, but that’s exactly what I felt and that’s exactly what I’d do.

___

Bruce’s 2^nd phase of hospitalization started last Sunday. It was a collective decision when we saw how Bruce was still struggling and weak. With the renewed hope from his 2^nd blood work results that his toxin levels went down by almost half, the whole family decided to subject him to another therapy session to further bring down his CREATININE and BUN levels to normal. It was a painful decision, but it was also the right one.

It's Tuesday now and hopefully the drugs are kicking in. I visited him last Sunday night and yesterday after work to spend time with him and bring him his home cooked meal of value protein and carbohydrates. I go to work at 6:30 am now just to be home at 3:30 pm so I could spend my afternoons with him. I seem to wake up at 5 am so easily. Sleep won’t come to me peacefully. Even in dreams I think of him.

Including last week’s first therapy session, Bruce had been hospitalized for a total of 7 days now. In those 7 days, he was able to spend one night with us. In those 7 days, he received IV fluids and had his CREATININE decreased almost by half, from 7 to 4. We are aiming at 2 or 1.5. His BUN decreased by 15 points. In short he is responding to treatment.

To supplement this renewed hope, I am busy reading so many articles about acute renal failure and its therapies. With so many articles, opinions, feedbacks from friends whose pets suffered the same and didn’t survive, and the rich and sometimes unfavorable medical insights on the web, I am realistic enough to consider of the fatality this disease impose. I am fully aware of the survival rate and the challenges to overcome this. I admit that in the first few days, I would cry and bawl my eyes out on the countless negative information. Nobody said this was an easy disease to conquer.  But rather than mope around, get fully depressed, cry and not do something about it. I intend not to give up as long as there’s progress, hope and I feel Bruce’s willingness to fight.  I would do whatever it takes to make Bruce a miracle case as long as there’s hope and strength in him. I’ve also never prayed so hard for help and mercy.

I decided from now on, he will be in a homemade diet. It would be more effort for us, but anything to keep his kidneys functioning. I did my research on recipes that I intend to post soon. I also did my research on important supplements and the post-disease management he'd adhere to. Every 3 months I would have to bring him to vet for blood work. Everyday, he would have to have low protein, low phosphorous and sodium meals. Everyday, he has to be observed. It would be a challenge for all us. But we welcome that challenge out of our genuine love for him. More work equals more love that we pour out for him and the rest of our dogs.

He is scheduled to take his 3^rd blood test tomorrow. The result will mark the supposed progress of his 2^nd phase of hospitalization. I’m anxious to know the results. I don’t think I can efficiently concentrate at work.   But I am really hoping for the best. I hope he had reacted well so that I could take him home. And by taking him home, he can fully recover with his family and continue his road to wellness.

Updates will be posted soon.

Date	Hospitalization	POSITIVE SIGNS	NEGATIVE SIGNS
July 1, Monday AM	No	Normal Energy	None
July 1, Monday PM	No	Appetite is present; responsive to calls	Drinking too much, limping and painful gait, nauseous, lethargic
July 2, Tuesday	No	Appetite is present; responsive to calls	Drinking too much, limping  and painful gait, nauseous, lethargic
July 3, Wednesday	Yes. Initial Blood work was done. CREATININE 7; BUN 65. Diagnosed with Acute Renal Failure. 1st day of IV fluid therapy and confinement	Appetite is present, responsive to calls	Drinking too much, limping  and painful gait, nauseous, lethargic
July 4, Thursday	2nd day of IV fluid therapy and confinement	Appetite is present, responsive to calls	Drinking too much, limping  and painful gait, nauseous, lethargic
July 5, Friday	3rd day of IV Fluid therapy and confinement	Appetite is present, responsive to calls	Drinking too much, limping  and painful gait, nauseous, lethargic
July 6, Saturday	4th day of IV Fluid therapy and confinement; 2nd set of Blood work. Results have decreased, CREATININE at 4, BUN at 50, which means Bruce responded well to medication. Veterinarian gave go signal to bring him home.	Appetite is present, responsive to calls; energy is better compared to last few days, urinating and stool is normal	Limping and painful gait lethargic
July 7, Sunday	5th day of IV fluid therapy and confinement to further lower CREA levels and BUN.	Appetite is present, responsive to calls, energy is better compared to last few days.	Limping and painful gait lethargic
July 8 Monday	6th Day of IV Fluid therapy and confinement to further lower CREA levels and BUN	Appetite is present, responsive to calls, energy is better compared to last few days.	Limping and painful gait lethargic
July 9, Tuesday	7th day of IV Fluid therapy and confinement to further lower CREA levels and BUN	Appetite is present, responsive to calls, energy is better compared to last few days.	Limping and painful gait lethargic
July 10, Wed	Scheduled 3rd Blood work, results TBD	TBD	TBD
July 11, Thursday	TBD	TBD	TBD
July 12, Friday	**Release date	Release date	Release date

Mighty Bruce's Battle: 1st Phase of Confinement

He was admitted July 3^rd, Wednesday after we received his blood result same day in the afternoon. The initial thoughts of bone injury or spinal concentration were put aside. The main problem was his kidneys. That explained his arched back which indicated that the kidneys must be really painful. He looked so miserable and weak. He really looked like a nauseous dog. Below are the symptoms observed on him since July 1^st, Monday.

·       He drinks a lot

·       Urinates occasionally

·       Arched back, painful gait

·       Lethargic, lies down, won’t move

Despite the very explicit symptoms, he still responds well. Wags his tail, looks at you, tries to be with you although with so much effort than usual. He doesn’t eat that much or with gusto, but he still has appetite. There were no vomiting episodes and his stool was of normal color and consistency. Even though we still do have good things running, the negative symptoms were something we could not ignore. Dogs are transparent and predictable, you’ll know immediately if something’s not well. It will not take a rocket scientist to figure out that your dog is sick.  Though Bullmastiffs are known breeds that have high pain tolerance, I wasn’t sure how long he was hiding the condition from us. He was very normal up until Monday morning of July 1^st. This drastic decline manifested afternoon of that same day. Something happened from lunch of that monday or Bruce was just successful at hiding the pain these past few days or we were just dumb not to notice.

As I was researching the causes of acute renal failure, danger kept on popping in my head. Acute Renal Failure is an abrupt failure of the kidneys. Infection or failure just started in days or weeks. It’s usually caused by shock, surgical infection, ingestion of poison and dehydration. It is reversible in some cases, but most often than not the damage is too severe thus mortality rate is considered high. Chronic renal failure in the meantime is a gradual kidney failure and symptoms develop over time and symptoms manifest usually during old age. It is irreversible.  Acute renal failure is a surprise and the damage is often immense. Chronic renal failure is gradual yet an irreversible condition that could be managed in order to extend the lives of dog for years through diet and monitoring.

Kidney failure, chronic or acute, is very fatal. There’s no denying the fact that once we hear that someone has a kidney failure, it’s might as well that it's a person fighting for his life. Kidneys are very important and powerful organs. Their main task is to suck up excess protein, filter out toxins and release it in the form of urine. Kidneys are also powerful in a way that we are blessed with 2, but we could actually function with only 1 as long as the remaining kidney is healthy. But if the kidneys are poor and failing, it means both of the kidneys cannot fully do the work. They are deteriorating to the point that toxins are not filtered out and just goes round and round the bloodstream. This causes nausea and lethargy to the animals. Increased in toxins and not doing anything about it spells a miserable death. 

Unfortunately, kidneys unlike other organs do not regenerate new and healthy portions. Once the kidney is damaged, it stays damaged. People are left to rely on the remaining healthy percentage of the damaged kidneys and help them do their job by changing the dog’s diet, lifestyle and a lot of medicine and prayers. According to research, owners usually do not notice symptoms until they are explicit just like what happened to Bruce. And based on case studies, explicit symptoms usually indicate that 75% of the kidneys are already damaged. If that is the case, in a general and realistic perspective, Bruce is left with 25% working kidneys.

Thinking about it every single day makes me cry. It makes me devastated. Never in my life have I experienced so much emotional stress. I am fighting for a life here, although a dog’s life, but he is an essential part of my life. And it just hurts to see him face such a situation at such an early age when he hasn’t fully enjoyed life. It seems that no matter what I do, because of the fatality of the disease, some of it are left to medication and tons of prayers. I feel so helpless. 

From the moment he was confined, my mind and heart were racy. He had to be confined for days receiving fluid therapy. He has an IV of Lactated Ringer solution to flush out all the toxins and supply him his lost water and electrolytes. He had to do it from Wednesday to Saturday in an enclosed cage, in a dingy room in the veterinarian’s clinic and away from his family. Despite the physical pain, I could only imagine how depressed and devastated he must be.

Every single day I would visit him. I researched and cooked low protein, salt and phosphorous meals for him hoping that he’d eat it. And he always did. Every time I visited, his face would light up and he would try to show that he had conquered the sickness. He would eat his meal in less than 2 minutes and he would always show hope. Though in every visit, his face would crush me every single time that I had to leave him.

After 3 days of straight fluid treatment, his 2nd blood test was scheduled last Saturday July 6. I wanted the test to be okay so I could take him home. And his confinement and fluid therapy paid off. After 3 days of intensive IV Fluid therapy, his Creatinine level was done from 7 to 4, which is a vast improvement. His BUN was done from 60 to 50, but the veterinarian was really positive about it. Bruce was so responsive and lively that the doctor agreed for us to take him home. We were so elated. Though his kidneys weren't normal yet, we still decided to bring him home to liven up his spirits and for him to see his family again. 

Bringing him home that Saturday afternoon was a happy and hopeful feeling! He left the veterinarian with his head up high, tail wagging and walked as if nothing happened. It’s as if he doesn’t want to look back and show anything is wrong. He went to my car, tried to jump at the back room and his face was painted with excitement and happiness. Once he arrived, everyone was there to greet him. Even the dogs and all of the members of our household missed him so much. He smelled the grass, went around, did his business a couple of times and played with the dogs while we were all cheering him on. It was a very happy and tearjerker feeling. We thought our ordeal was over. If only he was really far away from trouble. That Saturday helped his spirits a bit but the battle lingered on. 

Welcome back Bruce!