Good Friday Memories

There's something eerie and excruciatingly quiet during Good Friday's. It's different. Everyone seems to be holed up somewhere with only a few of us who have so low willpower taking advantage of no traffic to drive to the nearest open coffee shop. I am guilty and a sinner forever. I'm so sorry. So I just pray and try to bond with God however I can. That's the best I can do for now, I still hope He hears me out. 

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During Good Friday's count yourself lucky if you don't have work. With the global situation happening now, most of the most lucrative jobs really don't observe Holy Week Holidays. Thankfully I finished my work and I'm not required to come in today. Rest and reflection day it is. But I couldn't help thinking about my Good Friday memories, mostly from my childhood. It's quite different now. We're not always going to the province like we used to when we were kids. Parents got old and kids became adults with no summer holidays! It's a shame our youngest didn't get to experience Holy Week like we used to. Thinking about it makes me treasure my childhood more. 

1.  Holy Week in the Province

THEN: I'm one of lucky girls to have strong provincial roots. When we were kids, if we spend our Christmas in my mom's side in Cebu, we would definitely have to allot our Holy Week to Roxas, Capiz! Yes, the city of Aswangs as they say, which is a complete total bullshit even according to my dad. I love Roxas. It might not be as modern and progressive as Cebu, but it has its charms. Where can you get fresh sea food delivered straight from the net to our house? Fresh air, direct access to the beach and peace and quiet found only in provinces. Everything was paid for by our parents. All we had to do were wake up on time and pack our bags. I don't remember a time I spent Holy Week in Manila as a child. The happiness ended on my first job. 

NOW: House arrest is a good option. Sa bahay nalang kung pwede. With all our adult responsibilities, we would want to unwind for sure, but most of the times sleep and catching up on books are better options. Why spend and go through the road stress? Nakakatamad byumahe and most especially gastos pa. Peak rates lahat! When everyone else is holed up in their homes or in far flung resorts that means no metro traffic - seems a way better option. 

2. Procession

THEN: When I was a kid, I was curious of what adults do and I would want to participate all the time. For some reason, the serious adult stuff is repackaged into something fun in the eyes of a child. Long processional walks with candles in the streets of Roxas Capitol is a strong memory. I would walk with my cousins, holding the hand of my aunts or uncles and stopping by for some soda in the nearby store as a reward.  I was happy then. I found the procession so enigmatic. I didn't feel the distance. I wanted to go and be a part of it.

NOW: I don't really walk that far now. I hate walking. And I can't remember the last time I walked so far or joined a procession. The last serious walk I did was for EDSA 2. I walked from Shaw to the Shrine when Edsa was closed and MRT was impossible. And I don't intend to do any processions any time soon. 

3. Bawal Mag-Ingay (No Unnecessary noise)

THEN: When we're in the province, our grandparents and old-school aunts and uncles would forbid us to laugh, shriek and have fun on Good Friday. No one is allowed to swim and go out. No one is allowed to watch TV unless it's a movie something about God. We do have Betamax tapes of The 10 Commandments, which we would watch over and over again or Betamax tapes of the Story Book Bible cartoons. As kids, that seemed fine. We didn't question it. We saw it as a fun challenge even. And when we found ourselves speaking too loud, we restrained ourselves. 

NOW: Internet and cable are always on. We've learned how to appreciate reading. IPOD is a nice breakaway. And if we want to unwind and quickly step out, our parents would go against it because of waste in gas and stress, but we would eventually have our own way.

4. "It's Good Friday, walang bukas. Walang Jollibee!!"

THEN: We ate what was served at home on a Good Friday. It's been staged. They tend to force fast us. In Roxas, we didn't really feel it was fasting. If we would have crabs, oysters and shrimps on a normal day. But on a good friday, we'd have Bangus, Tilapia or mussels. Since I loved seafood, it was still like a treat everyday. We just had to avoid meat and certainly no Jollibee or McDonald's. We really knew it was closed. We never even asked. 

NOW: Since we don't get to go to the province, our seafood isn't fresh and I have developed this abhorrence to vegetables. My parents do their own brand of fasting which are purely veggies. They don't force us to eat, but they don't give in to our whimpers either. Magutom ka is the strategy. So I became resourceful since my mind is in my stomach. Seriously, I could name a few Jollibee, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and Yellow Cab and North Park open 24 hours on a Good Friday. 

5. "Mag-Fast ka, one meal a day."

THEN: I can do it. I've done it before, one huge mean with really small snacks like Sky Flakes and Eight O'Clock. Being kids, they'd cut us some slack sometimes so it wasn't that big of a deal. 

NOW: Usually they want us to take advantage of this day to lose weight. Fast to lose weight and do guilt trip after. As adults, we develop our own set of thinking, our own principles. I think fasting is relevant. Fasting or Abstinence to something that gives you worldly pleasure is what matters. If you're a natural glutton, well abstain from too much food, that is a sacrifice. If you love alcohol, abstain from it. No vices. No worldly pleasures. Well my sister is proud, she is not drinking today, on a Friday at that which is very very rare. That is her fasting/abstinence.

Sunbathing Dogs

I'm not really a fan of direct sunlight. Sun. Heat. Summer.

That's why I just don't get it why people sunbathe and especially...dogs!! My dogs to be exact.

I first experienced it with Harvey when he was young. Even up until now he finds his most comfortable spot to sunbathe. He sometimes does it near lunch time, which drives me nuts. Harvey, being Harvey, I just thought something's screwed up in his head no matter how smart he is. I thought he was this adrenalin-junkie who attempts to be suicidal for fun. Most of the times we try to shoo him away if we find him too exposed to the sun.

We thought Harvey was an isolated case then we were faced with another serious sunbather. Bruce sometimes picks a spot in the garden and sleeps there until noon. My mother had to call me in the office once just to panic and ask me what to do cause he was lying under the sun for hours, not moving. My mom thought he was just too lazy enough to move and save his own life. Seriously mom, Bruce is lazy BUT NOT THAT LAZY! In the mornings, he stays in the same spot soaking up the 9 am sun. 

Two of my dogs are serious sunbathers. And if I mean serious, they sunbathe for hours. I am way past panicking so I read a few articles to achieve some sort of piece of mind. 

According to Dogster.com, dogs do love to sunbathe, some are even serious sunbathers and could stay for hours. They love to soak up the warmth of the sun and in a dog level loves to get a doze of Vitamin D. So, I should not panic if I see them lounging under the direct sunlight. They know better and they usually just leave if they've had enough.

For some dogs though, they sleep and forget so that's where human intervention comes in. Humans, if they sense they've had enough, can lead the dog back into the shade. It's never harmful to remind our furry friends that it's not the time to die of heatstroke.

Dogs with thick hair are more protected than short-haired dogs. Well in that department, Bruce and Harvey are more in danger. I would just have to make sure they don't stay out too long and they only do that during healthy hours, anything between 10 am - 4 pm is a no!

For dogs that like to sunbathe lying on their backs and with their bellies exposed, it should be well timed and protected. Direct sun exposure of bellies may cause intestinal tumors and complications. Basically any part of the dog that has less or no hair at all should be well protected.

If the dog has a skin allergy or a recent medical operation make sure to have it protected from direct sunlight. If you want to be sophisticated use some protective clothing like Rashguard. And for some protective masters, they can always use sunblocks! Yes, sunblocks! According to the site, it's best to choose a sunblock that's good for babies and that has NO ZINC OXIDE, which is proven to be toxic for dogs. Try to spread it in small portions first and if there's no allergic reaction, fire away!

Nature knows that I have never treated a sunburnt dog, well not yet I think, but if ever there comes a time, I'll try to soothe him with a cool bath, spread ice cubes in the area and ask a vet for a soothing cream. Better have a non-soap based solution on hand. Neem Herbal Dog soap is a popular brand to treat burns. Better yet, I'll ask my vet soon to have the soothing cream in handy.

Dogs love sunbathing. Fine I get it. But I'll still try to regulate it to avoid nasty complications. Both of my dogs are serious sunbathers and short-haired so at least I know what to do. I guess everything is good in moderation!

Bruce the Soccer Player

Bruce is a low energy dog. For his size, it's not that hard to accept.
He would just lie down, observe and chill. Sleeping by the way is his favorite past time.

We even find him to be too lazy sometimes. We often see him drinking from his bowl while lying down. If the water bowl is too far, he drinks water from the plants. There are times he can't carry his weight back to his own house. He waits for the strength to come back and with deep internalization he pushes himself up and we're not talking about a huge leap, around 12 inches to be exact. His gait is that of a giant, slow yet powerful. He would never be fast as Harvey though he tries sometimes and it's funny.

But at least we found a sport we could enjoy with him. Soccer.

He might not excel in fetch or chase, but he can work with soccer! In a small garden that we have, we don't technically run around, but we just manipulate the ball's movement. That's where he comes in. He likes to tackle with you to get the ball. With his weight, it's as if you're playing for bruises.

For some reason he knows the concept. We try to move around with the ball making sure he doesn't get it. He concentrates on the ball and runs with you at first. Then he just does his own thing and smashes you with his weight so he could get the ball with his two powerful front legs. Sometimes JD would do this feet lock thing with the ball and Bruce breaks the pattern with his powerful arms. JD likes to play with him because it feels like playing with someone who's not afraid of contact. I played with him once and had the pleasure of falling on the grass twice. I had 5 bruises and all he wanted was the ball. If I stop, he stops as well, but guards the ball between his legs until I call it a day.

If Harvey likes fetch and chase, Bruce seems to love soccer more. Big balls for big dogs, huh. We're planning on getting him a jersey soon!

Dog Fight

How are the dogs? The dogs are fine, though we are having some sort of a rough patch that we need to figure out how to solve. How wonderful if Cesar Millan was here.

Lately, the dogs are involved in some sort of altercations. Bruce, being the youngest and most charming of them all, would never start a fight. He is big and playful. He is a mean scary machine, but he's the least aggressive. He was even diagnosed as shy and fearful. Harvey in the meantime is collected, calm and very good with dogs. He never retaliates on bitching, but if it's a tackle, he's a force to be reckoned with. With his size and small-dog mentality, he still calls the shots in the group though not in an aggressive kind of way. Chivas is typical an indoor dog. He's snooty and bitchy, but totally harmless. Buddy, being the most senior of the group, never really cares much for plays and extreme interaction. He sports some senior temper tantrums once in a while.

The three dogs namely Chivas, Bruce and Harvey are cool with each other. They play around, fool around and sometimes play rough. Bruce pesters Harvey and they get into each others' nerves but it never ends in a fight. Always after a rough play, they chill around in some cool spot and get their naps together. Buddy is the quiet and observant one. Probably being the senior in the group, the rest of the dogs don't really pester him. In terms of playtime, he's not really involved as it's mostly Bruce and Harvey.

Then we witnessed how Buddy evolved. As soon as the other dogs were having fun, he bullies Bruce to submission. He growls and steps on Bruce. Even if Bruce already had a bigger physique at that time this behavior erupted, he would bow down and cower. Of course we got mad at Buddy. Out of nowhere we saw aggression, the sort of aggression we never saw from the rest of the dogs. It's really weird how he would only attack Bruce and never Harvey. Then we knew why, Harvey would fight and Buddy would amazingly shut up. Bruce would cower being the youngest, but we saw how Harvey pushed Buddy away effortlessly. Harvey would bark, growl and sometimes attack Buddy to leave.

When we saw it, we tried to observe more and understand where Buddy was coming from. Probably he's too old to appreciate play and noise. He's okay when nothing exciting is happening, but if Bruce and Harvey start to rumble, he would go on an attack mode and Harvey would be this front line soldier while Bruce look on not knowing what to do. It carried on for a month.

After a few weeks, it kind of stopped. We tried to give them space and things went back to normal. Until Harvey and Bruce were playing and Buddy attacked out of nowhere targeting only on Bruce. Harvey as always became this fighter dog and what's new in this equation was, with Harvey's cue, Bruce actually fought back! He barked his mean barked, growled and being a natural bullmastiff, pinned Buddy down with so much ease as Harvey tried to teach Buddy a lesson. It became a team effort against the senior. Buddy was helpless.

Bruce and Harvey didn't start the fight. Unconsciously they might have provoked Buddy to start it, but the challenging part was that Bruce already knew how to fight back. He didn't really tear Buddy to pieces though he could, but he did what his physique and breed was meant to do. Buddy may have been more than 7 years old and a capable guard dog and Bruce only 9 months old and basically a puppy. But Bruce is a large breed and a heavy-set dog. He can easily pin anyone down and that's what he's made of. God knows his weight and the strength of his paws and upper body. His strength mixed with fury make a bullmastiff a formidable protector.

Right now, we're giving them space. If they are all in the same grounds together, we make sure there's someone to observe and break the situation early. We also make sure for Buddy to realize that we won't tolerate that behavior. We make our presence known. So far, it's working but it's not fool proof. They've had cuts and bruises already. A week ago a fight broke out. Buddy ended up limping and Bruce had few cuts, which we took care of.  I don't want this to be escalated any further.

They don't immediately shred each other to parts. When they see each other, they hang around and chill together. There are just some specific triggers that tick them off like when some dogs are having fun, one gets angry and they always seem to play the same roles. Bruce and Harvey never initiate, but they don't back down on a fight either. I do know that dogs fight sometimes, but I don't want to come home knowing they had nasty injuries for the day or something worse that I dare not think of. They have strengths that would be their best qualities and worst for other dogs. They started off okay, but something went wrong along the way.

I still believe my dogs are very well socialized. They are not aggressive and they are very loving creatures. I'm still proud of them, but these things are unavoidable and as humans we have to control it. We are still in the process of observing them, but thankfully no fights occurred in the past few days even if they were together. Can they learn a lesson on their own? I hope so or else I would need someone more professional to fix this.

Castaways, Diablo and A Fair Maiden

For consecutive weeks I was just passing through. During February and March apparently I had no literary targets. Let's just say that I was in the moment of trying to plan out how my year would turn out mostly at work, second my life in general. I had a couple of surprise assignments and redeployment at work which took me some time to find the right reaction. The phase was something different and something stressful at the same time. It's not totally miserable, but let's just say I'm trying to plan out things the best way that I can while trying to enjoy the powerful tide. I guess there's always a reason for everything and I've accepted the strategy of saving energy not to fight against it, not now at least.

So my reading choices are a bit erratic and IN THE MOMENT. After Saramago's Blindness, I got whatever I felt like.

The Castaways by Elin Hildebrand

I've seen her works in the leading bookstores though she's not exactly at the most popular sections like Steele, Grisham or McNaught, not that extreme at least. She is an author known for producing light summer romance books all set in Nantucket, a sort of isolated-romantic, closed knit town in East Coast. My first time reading her work actually ignited a desire in me to go there when I find myself in the States.

The book was harmless. I wanted something light to mark the impending summer and she seemed to be the most accessible and available thing on my shelf. I bought this copy two years ago, I think.

So the story is about three couples trying to cope after their adored couple/friends, Greg and Tess McAvoy, accidentally died on a sailing trip. You'll only meet the McAvoys through the memories of these friends but through that death, the reader is slowly taken into the most recent past of how their friendships evolved through time and situations. There were secrets, betrayals and bonds that were given light and a brief explanation.

The story is about how the tragedy unfolded the lives, relationships and the heartaches of these three remaining couples and how they came to terms to living with each other and moving on. The story isn't epic enough to bore you. It's just reading normal middle aged people with strong friendships sorting most of their feelings out on a tough time. It's most about relationships than actual romance. I could really picture anyone else reading this on a beach, no heavy thinking, just going with the flow.

With Banana Cream Cheese Cupcake from Vanilla Cupcake Bakery, one of my favorite cupcake flavors ever!

Diablo: The Order by Nate Kenyon

This is probably one of the most impulsive bordering to stupid purchases I've ever had and no point against the writer or the book. It's on me. I bought this after reeling from a very miserable Jack the Giant Slayer movie I watched with my brother on a day I filed leave from work. I wanted something fast and exciting. I thought a movie would remedy it, but it threw me back to square one. I had to get something to make me temporarily happy. I saw Diablo III: The Order on the fresh releases shelf in Power Books. I wanted something fast, edgy and interesting. And being impulsive, without pausing to think, I got it.

I didn't even bother to think that Diablo, being a grand franchise of awesome gaming experience and rich story lines, would produce books in series! In retrospect I should've known better that a massive franchise won't be written on a single paperback. If I only had the time to think about it, I would've searched for any of the book's series or at least googled the volumes. I'm no Diablo expert, a little research would've prepared me, but no!

I bought the book and read it. Sure. I finished it. I'm happy to report that I did get to know Deckard Cain a little more. When I attempted to play Diablo III on my own, I've seen that character around helping me in "Missions". I also kind of understood Leah's role and gave more breath to the nasty villains we so love to kill. But I can't say that I totally enjoyed it or I emerged from a euphoric state like reading Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings.  But again it's my fault.

Diablo the Order by Nate Kenyon is one of the books of the Diablo series. I was kind of disappointed because I wanted to know the beginning of Diablo, the creation of the story behind the game,  how the angels fell and how they built the world called Sanctuary. But in this book, it already talked about Deckard Cain's journey with Leah, the child of the demon and how the evil begin to break from the brewing phase. I knew it started already somewhere in the middle. And as much as it's okay for a normal curious person to read it, the supreme appreciation won't really be achieved unless he comes to understand the source of all things. That's why they print these epic scales in series! Tsk Tsk. That's where my stupidity came in. I had no idea there were Demonsbane, the first book in the series, then the Legacy of Blood, then The Black Road and so on, written by skilled writers. The Order is the 6th if I'm not mistaken.

In the Vanilla Cupcake Bakery enjoying my favorite cupcake and a nice latte.

Unfortunately I read it for the sake of reading, but good thing that I was at least still interested with the story and it's really not that hard to read. It's not George RR Martin or Tolkien, that's for sure. It's okay, something to pass the time and get to know more about Diablo. But I really suggest you start at the beginning to appreciate the rest of the stories. It's a lesson that I've learned and I learned it so well. Stupid me, I even got the book on full price. I still want to read more about Diablo though, I'll make sure next time, I'll start from Book 1.

A Fair Maiden By Joyce Carol Oates

Joyce Carol Oates is a no non-sense writer. She writes stories that are good enough to read and make into a movie. She writes stories with interesting characters and plots with the right amount of complexity and accessibility.

In this sort of disturbing and gothic story which I was able to read in 2 days time (thanks to nice writing and seriously, the book is not really that thick), I got to learn the rich and terminally old Marcus Skidder and his seduction of the insecure and troubled teenage nanny, Katya Spivak set in a rich neighborhood in New Jersey. The story is a bit easy to follow despite its disturbing subject and taste for morbidity. Here comes an old rich artist closing in on a weak and insecure teenager as his soulmate as he prepares for his life's final act to be revealed in the end. He seemed to seduce her with words, artistic prowess and tasteful power. Katya's internal tug of war is at play, which is understandable with her broken character. The story dynamics remind of Nabukov's Lolita, but far from it's elaborate and complicated nature. This could also be a good summer read if you want something different and a bit unconventional.

Exact cover of the book, no cupcakes this time

Blindness

I just finished a rom-com-adventure a couple of days ago. The Princess Bride by William Goldman is light and a bit funny. It's not  a cheesy medieval romance I was thinking of. The elements are still there, damsel in distress, the dashing pirate, the narcissistic prince and the supporting villains that turned out to be good guys in the end with special attributes brought by colorful histories. The book didn't take the characters to a normal route. They made these roles fun. The Damsel in Distress speaks her own mind and gets moody. The dashing pirate is a bit sarcastic, the prince who turned out to be the antagonist is kind of conceited and apathetic than evil. It's not about politics and intricate relationships, they did it in a tone of embarking on an adventure and chase. It was a simple fun. No cheesiness here, thank you.

After Princess Bride I was looking for something more serious, something more gripping. I didn't want to go through the list of my reliable formula writers. I'm not in a deep shit just yet. It just has to be gripping. For sure no classics, epics and fantasies for now. I just want something fast, new and if the story bothers me, then the better like the likes of The Sleepers or The Room. So I rummaged through my shelf and got titles from Julian Fellows, Tracy Chavelier and Ayn Rand, but I chanced upon a book I bought a year ago, which I haven't read and was at the far end of my towering book logs.

Jose Saramago's Blindness intrigued me. I knew there was a movie and I knew for some reason I didn't have time or interest to see it. But I also knew it's one of those that I wanted to read it more than see in the movies. When I bought the book, I realized there weren't dialogues, being a first Saramago reader, I had no idea. I wasn't totally dismayed cause I knew I can handle this kind of prose, but I still do love my dialogues. Probably that's the reason it was at the far end of my book log because I subconsciously put it there. For these kinds of prose, the timing is essential as everything even the mood should fall into place. Least to say books with NO dialogues aren't really a favorite of mine. I could go through it, but it always takes a lot of effort to stick through it. The plot and the writing style should really be strong. The writing style should really be fluid and graceful. Otherwise, it would really bore me after reading 10 pages. But lo and behold, I couldn't put this book down. There were no dialogues but he wrote it in such a way that you see these characters talking, you sense what's going on in their heads without boring you. The development of the story is in an ideal pace, the situations are intense, real and very contemporary yet there's grace in writing those lines. Each chapter ends with a clinger. It's one of those books with no dialogues, but in the end you'd know it doesn't need one. The writer is skilled enough to present a story as an observation. And the plot is very intense bordering to bothersome, I like it.

Probably the plot got to me more. Blindness is something I'm very iffy about. I'm scared of losing my eyesight. Ever since I was a child I knew it's one of my most valuable senses. I can skip talking, smelling and hearing. I just need to see. I don't think I can move on happily in this life without my vision. My eyesights works with all that I'm interested in this world. I can't imagine seeing darkness all the time. I'm a visual person. It would simply kill me to lose my sight.

Though I know blindness aren't caused overnight. There is no contamination or disease that can trigger this. I knew there is a gradual loss of vision that's why it could still be resolved and remedied, but it's never abrupt unless one has a physical accident. Blindness is not like cold and pox that it spreads. It's more of a relationship of the person and his eyes that develop through time. And this plot, no matter how fictitious it is, contradicts that. I cannot imagine myself driving, seeing a red traffic light and suddenly going blind. I'll panic, I'll hyperventilate. I'd probably do strange things to end my life. I know it sounds morbid and I apologize, but I'm sure you get how my vision is so important to me.

Reading about these characters make them seem so real and make me think of what I'd do in their position. Surviving in inhumane conditions and transforming into this horrible person you'll never imagine you'll become. It shows humans taste of self destruction with one loss of a very important sense that makes us feel powerful and equipped in the first place.

This book makes you think. It's one of the longest books I've read with no dialogues and I just couldn't put it down. The writing is awesome, the plot even more so. There's nothing light here, but then again that was what I was looking for.

No Subject. Just Hungry and Literally Hot

It's been a while. I know. Charge it to work and stress....hey, isn't that the same thing?

Well the last time I blogged it was not this hot. I guess summer has officially started much to my flagrant dismay. In the Philippines, summer seems to start early. And I hate it. I hate the summer, I hate everything else associated to summer. Kill me now and bury me in Antartica.

I can't even get my thoughts straight. Probably it's the heat with the lack of food. It's good Friday today and everyone's on fasting mode (forced fasting mode to be exact). I'm so sorry God, I think I'm going crazy. I can't even write this blog straight.

Getting my car keys now and search for food.

I promise, I'll blog with more sense later.